2003-01-12 - 7:45 p.m.

Safe And Sound ~ Sheryl Crow

Maybe this is forever Forever fades away Like a rocket ascending into space Could you not be sad Could you not break down After all I won't let go Until you're safe and sound Until you're safe and sound There's beauty in release There's no one left to please But you and me I don't blame you for quitting I know you really try If only you could hang on through the night I don't want to be lonely I don't want to be scared All our friends are waiting there Until you're safe and sound Until you're safe and sound There's beauty in release There's no one left to please But you and me Fell like I could have held on Fell like I could have let go Fell like I could have helped you Feel like I could have changed you Feel like I could have held you Feel like I could've hurt you Feel like I was a stranger Feel like I was an angel Feel like I was a hero Feel like I was a zero Feel like I could have changed you Feel like I could have healed you Feel like I could have saved you Feel like I should've heard you Feel like I could have moved you Feel like I could have changed you Feel like I could have healed you Feel like I should've told you Feel like I could have loved you Feel like I could have loved you Feel like I could have loved you Feel like I really loved you Feel like I really loved you Feel like I really loved you Feel like I really loved you Feel like I really loved you Feel like I really loved you Feel like I could've saved you Feel like I could've saved you Feel like I could've saved you

~sometimes i think that there is more i could've done to help others in the past. i think that if brynn listened to me she would be in a totally different situation right now, instead of being stuck on a bed with her feet hiked up and being 5 centimeters dialated, ready to give birth in a couple hours or so. i am not ready for children. and i've had the scares before. and i want to smarter in the future when it comes to sexual relations. i always vow to be safe and then sometimes i'm fucked up and i slip up. but it hasnt been a while since i've had the opportunity so all is safe and sound as of now.

I'd Do Anything ~ Simple Plan

Another day is going by I'm thinking about you all the time But you're out there And I'm here waiting And I wrote this letter in my head 'Cuz so many thing were left unsaid But now you're gone And I can't think straight This could be the one last chance To make you understand I'd do anything Just to hold you in my arms To try to make you laugh Somehow I can't put you in the past I'd do anything Just to fall asleep with you Will you remember me? 'Cuz I know I won't forget you Together we broke all the rules Dreaming of dropping out of school And leave this place To never come back So now maybe after all these years If you miss me have no fear I'll be here I'll be waiting This could be the one last chance to make you understand And I just can't let you leave me once again I close my eyes And all I see is you I close my eyes I try to sleep I can't forget you Nanana Nanana Nanana And I'd do anything for you I'd do anything To fall asleep with you I'd do anything There's nothing I won't do I'd do anything To fall asleep with you I'd do anything 'Cuz I know I won't forget you

~ so i saw ben at the mall and he looked so fucking skinny. i mean he's always been skinny, but this was like sick skinny. i hope everything is okay with him. i mean i see him eat all the time. he fucking works at a food joint. i dunno. i just want to invite him to toke sometime because i know that he used to and/or still does. but i dont have the guts to do that, and the fear of rejection from ben would be too much. but i cant stand living in this in between and not being able to further things along between us. and then there's tony. i saw him a little while back and damn. i'll never forget that smile...i'd do anything to hold him in my arms...he's beautiful. and here i am alone again. writing out a fantastical yet unreal future life for myself instead of living in the present.

Light My Fire ~ The Doors

You know that it would be untrue You know that I would be a liar If I was to say to you Girl, we couldn't get much higher Come on baby, light my fire Come on baby, light my fire Try to set the night on fire The time to hesitate is through No time to wallow in the mire Try now we can only lose And our love become a funeral pyre Come on baby, light my fire Come on baby, light my fire Try to set the night on fire, yeah The time to hesitate is through No time to wallow in the mire Try now we can only lose And our love become a funeral pyre Come on baby, light my fire Come on baby, light my fire Try to set the night on fire, yeah You know that it would be untrue You know that I would be a liar If I was to say to you Girl, we couldn't get much higher Come on baby, light my fire Come on baby, light my fire Try to set the night on fire Try to set the night on fire Try to set the night on fire Try to set the night on fire

~ now if the gender specific stuff were to be adjusted to suit me this song would be like a prayer song. my anthem almost. i need someone to light my fire. to spark my interest. to ignite my feelings. to entice me to want to love again...to feel things that i havent felt in a while, but often find myself thinking about. to relish in the fact that i've got someone to call my own of course that's not true, why would it be? but a girl can dream. and sometimes i think that i might not ever stop dreaming. and its cool that i can use my imagination so vividly. yet at the same time i'd like to experience the living as well....isn't that my purpose?

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