2003-02-04 - 8:49 a.m.

Miss You ~ Aaliyah

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you So what am I gonna do, said I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes I miss you Off to college, yes, you went away Straight from high school you up and left me We were close friends, also lovers Did everything for one another Now you’re gone and I’m lost without you here now But I know I gotta live and make it somehow Come back to me (To me) Can you feel me (Callin’) Hear me callin’ for you (For you) ‘Cause it’s It’s been too long and I’m lost without you So what am I gonna do, said I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you (Woo...ooh...ooh...) Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes Now I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout you And the days we used to share It’s drivin’ me crazy, I don’t know what to do I’m just wonderin’ if you still care And I wanna let you know that it’s killin’ me I know you got another life, you gotta concentrate, baby Come back to me (To me) Can you feel me (Callin’) Hear me callin’ for you (For you) ‘Cause it’s It’s been too long and I’m lost without you So what am I gonna do, said I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you (Baby) Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes I miss you It’s been too long and I’m lost without you What am I gonna do, I’ve been needing you, wantin’ you Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes (Yeah) I miss you I-I-I-I-I-I I-I-I-I-I-I I miss you I-I-I-I-I-I I-I-I-I-I-I I can’t (I) wait no (No more) more (No) Since you went away I don’t really feel like talkin’ (No) Don’t wanna hear them bug me (No, no) Tell me do you understand me I can’t do but be without you It’s been too long and I’m lost without you (Now tell what I’m gonna) What am I gonna do, I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you (Yeah) Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you Is your heart still mine (Yeah, yeah), I wanna cry sometimes (Ooh...) I miss you (Baby) It’s been too long and I’m lost without you (Oh, no, no, no) So what am I gonna do, I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you (Whoa) Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you (Hey...) Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes (Oh, no, baby) I miss you It’s been too long (Oh, yeah) and I’m lost without you So what am I gonna do (No, no) I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you (Baby) Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes

~ it's been too long and i'm lost without you. so what am i gonna do. i've been needing you, wantin' you baby, wondering if you're the same and who's been with you, is your heart still mine? i wanna cry sometimes... i know you've moved on from something that i'm most definately over-analyzing. but i loved you. and thats gone. it took a lot out of me. it took a lot of time and effort to be with you. and now that we're done, i still miss you. i think i always will. it's hard to just forget someone you love. love is a strong word. i taught you that remember? i do. i love you. i miss you. it's been too long and i'm lost without you...

Evanescence ~ Bring Me To Life

How can you see into my eyes like open doors. Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb. Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home. (Wake me up. Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Wake me up inside. Save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up. Bid my blood to run. I can't wake up. Before I come undone. Save me. Save me from the nothing I've become.) Now that I know what I'm without you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real Bring me to life. (Wake me up. Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Wake me up inside. Save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up. Bid my blood to run. I can't wake up. Before I come undone. Save me. Save me from the nothing I've become.) Bring me to life. I've been living a lie There's nothing inside. Bring me to life. Frozen inside without your touch, without your love, darling. Only you are the life among the dead. All of this sight I can't believe I couldn't see Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems. I've got to open my eyes to everything. Without a thought Without a voice Without a soul Don't let me die here There must be something wrong. Bring me to life. (Wake me up. Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Wake me up inside. Save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up. Bid my blood to run. I can't wake up. Before I come undone. Save me. Save me from the nothing I've become.) Bring me to life. I've been living a lie There's nothing inside. Bring me to life

~ i tried to stop. and i was successful. but the access just keeps coming to grips, in my hands. i can feel it personify and follow me everywhere i go, hanging over my shoulder, nagging me. it's an addiction. it's not going to stop overnight. but oh well. i used to be all for it. now i'm trying to slow down. not quit. i'm not ready to quit. i don't think i'll ever be. "til the roof comes off, til the lights go out, til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth, til the smoke clears out, am i high? perhaps. I'ma rip this shit til my bones collapse." thank you eminem for that perfect quote. "music is like magic" and i'll live off it. bring me to life. but guess what. loving life and life is living....and i am here. living.

I Will Remember You ~ Sarah McLachlan

i will remember you will you remember me don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories remember the good times that we had i let them slip away from us when things got bad how clearly i first saw you smilin' in the sun wanna feel your warmth upon me i wanna be the one i will remember you will you remember me don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories i'm so tired but i can't sleep standin' on the edge of something much too deep it's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word we are screaming inside but we can't be heard but i will remember you will you remember me don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories i'm so afraid to love you but more afraid to loose clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose once there was a darkness deep and endless night you gave me everything you had oh you gave me light and i will remember you will you remember me don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories and i will remember you will you remember me don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories weep not for the memories

~today marks a year since my aunt passed away. and not a day goes by that i don't think of her in some way, i see her effect on my family, me included, and i mourn for her passing. a year or not. i'll always go visit her. i see her smile in my dad's eyes, and i see the pain that she endured with each grey hair on my grandfather's head. her life was anything but easy. anything but normal. i still care for her. i always will. she made an impact on me without even speaking. i'll always love her and miss her. i wish i could have hugged her once more before she left, but the circumstances wouldn't allow it. she didn't even look like the paula i remember at her funeral. she was all puffy and filled with water from the meds. this is yet another thing that i have grown to appreciate and admire about my family. that we have the ability to pull through when it feels like there's no god looking over us. that we have the ability to come together amidst so much loss, and create so much love. i will always remember you paula. i hope that you are up in heaven with a bedroom full of stuffed animals and a big comfy bed. i hope you are smiling down at us. i hope that all of the disabilities disappear for you up there, and i hope that you have found peace at last. love you always. *tears*

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