2003-03-16 - 12:47 p.m.

California Sky ~ Unwritten Law

imagine, the dreams we've had since we were children are real it's magic to see their minds filled with the music we feel well here's your message from above and if you wanta make push come to shove, alright this ain't no lullaby we're right at home in the California Sky illusions are taking part of the confusion in me tomorrow, there will be no heroes left to follow you'll see bright lights they flash across the sky may be the reason why we're all insane and I don't wanna get away we're right at home in the California Sky live from the mansion on the hill reminds you of the way we used to feel, right? Orion's aligned now turn back the time the California Sky

~ a lot is happening. yet at the same time nothing is happening. well at least there is nothing i can do about what is happening. i wish i never got myself into this mess of a lawsuit, but at the same time, maybe i just wish i kept my mouth shut like everyone told me to. dammit i am so fucking naive. i trust so many people with vital information when i should just be quiet. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm just curious as to what is going to happen. i want to know if i'll win this shit and i used to be so sure but now i'm not. whether or not i had shit on me that day is not imperative, what matters is that they never should've strip searched me, or anyone for that matter, for a drug. the only thing that gives them the right to search a student is talk about a weapon. marijuana is not a weapon, it's a savior, oh wait that's just my opinion. but it's definitely not a weapon so there cippybitch. you were wrong, and until you can admit it to the whole fucking town and world, then fuck off and shut your hole. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE. i'll be doing the town a favor by getting rid of you. so stop trying to suck people into your innocent ploy. you are at fault here. you made the wrong decision. you should've called the cops if you wanted to win this war against me. but you didn't. and you lost. i will win this case, i will not let you hurt anyone else the way you hurt me. as long as jenn doesn't testify against me, i win. bitch goes down. words are words, and facts are facts. facts are more important than words in this situation. people tell me not to trust jenn saying that she won't testify against me. i really don't think she will. and i wish people who don't even know her would stop telling me that i can't trust her. if i didn't think i could trust her i never would've told her in the first place. so they can just shut up and let me make my decisions.

This Is A Lie ~ The Cure

how each of us decides i've never been sure the part we play the way we are howeach of us denies any other way in the world why each of us must choose i've never understood one special friend one true love why each of us must lose everyone else in the world however unsure however unwise day after day play out our lives however confused pretending to know to the end but this isn't truth this isn't right this isn't love this isn't life this isn't real this is a lie how each of us believes i've never really known in heaven unseen and hell unknown how each of us dreams to understand anything at all why each of us decides i've never been sure the part we take the way we are why each of us denies every other way in the world however unsure however unwise day after day play out our lives however confused pretending to know to the end but this isn't truth this isn't right this isn't love this isn't life this isn't real this is a lie this isn't truth this isn't right this isn't love this isn't life this isn't real this is a lie

~trying to analyze life often seems pointless once done. but it is fun to do until you realize that no one will truly ever understand it. life is a path that one creates by making decisions about other things, leading to where one is. the decisions are turns that one takes to get to where they want to be. they also land people in the wrong direction sometimes. i think i'm heading the right way and then everything gets flipped upside down and i am lost trying to find my way back to where i was when i left off....see did you understand that?

Why ~ Stabbing Westward

I am not here I think I've never Been here at all or ever will I feel like a place where no one goes anymore Why can't you see that everything's broken And why can't you see that my life's turned gray? I can't believe in anything sacred When I don't believe that I am real I need someone to break the silence That's screaming in my head And in my soul It seems so bizarre But none of this matters Thoughts disappear, and hopes have died But now I am safe, nothing can hurt me here Why can't you see my need for forgiveness? The truth and the lies so confused as one I can't believe in anything sacred When I don't believe in anything I need someone to break the silence That's screaming in my head And in my soul I am alone Locked in my memories There's nowhere left for me to hide But I am not real I've made all I am with lies Why does it seem that everything's different? And why does it seem that only you are real? I don't believe in anything sacred So, why do I feel so damn alone? I need someone to break the silence That's screaming in my head And in my soul I need someone to break the silence That's screaming in my head And in my soul And in my soul

~ i'm tired of mind games. i'm tired of people that try to hard. people that just don't understand me. if you don't understand me then get to know me, if you don't want to get to know me, then you'll never understand, and if you don't understand you are in no place to comment. so there. i said what's on my mind only i said it so it makes sense to me. fuck stupid people who think they're my friends but they aren't and i know it. so stop trying to be. you damn ugly italian. all i want to know is why? why not me? or why me? in the same sense. huh?? answer that and maybe i'll stop being a bitch to you.

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