2003-04-10 - 11:48 a.m.

Everything ~ Stacie Orrico

I said a prayer That someday I would find a boy And together we'd find joy Maybe somday And he would care About the color of the sky About the things that make me cry Maybe someday And if it happens this is what I'd say And I will give you my life Together we'll make it right And I will say to you What is for sure That I will give you my world And baby I'll be your girl And I will say to you Everything I have is yours I wonder if If maybe God has shown him He is the one who's gonna marry me Maybe someday So, I'm gonna wait Cause I'm woth waiting for And what I'm worth is so much more For that someday And if it happens this is what I'd say And I will give you my life Together we'll make it right And I will say to you What is for sure That I will give you my world And baby I'll be your girl And I will say to you Everything I have is yours

~ seriously. i am quite lonely these days. between school and work i have little time to socialize. there's just no one around that interests me. except him but he's (rong o bong) taken so i just have to wait. i dreamt about him the other day. it was weird. i dreamt about someone from the past last night and it was even weirder. i miss him. the laughs he took from me. the smiles. the feelings. the words. damn, why did he hafta look so cute the other day, jong o e you cute mutha fucka. i'm tired of this loneliness. i just want someone to fill the hours.

Fire and Rain ~ James Taylor

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone Susanne the plans they made put an end to you I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song I just can't remember who to send it to I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again Won't you look down upon me, Jesus You've got to help me make a stand You've just got to see me through another day My body's aching and my time is at hand And I won't make it any other way Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the sun Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now Thought I'd see you one more time again There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now

~ this song used to make me cry because, are you ready for the super lame reason...it was in this river phoenix movie, and the whole family and river's girlfriend in the movie and in real life was all singing the song out loud together and dancing, and you know what river just looks like he's in pure heaven and it makes me sad because thats how i want to remember him, happy, and right there is a perfect example of him being happy....aww river, why did you hafta let it take control of you. i feel that if he still lived, in some weird way, we could have been really good friends. he's a lot like me. wild almost. i cant wait for the sig ep party, it's gonna be a blast. and i guess there's another huge party right after that somewhere else and then we're prolly staying the night at marc's place. it's gonna be the shit. i miss marc. i saw him yesterday. and it just sucks that we can't do rides everyday. only once in a while if we're lucky. rides with marc are awesome. i just feel so right, we can talk about anything, listen to music together, and get high. and it's awesome. because i'm sitting next to a person that i know will always be there for me. he's been through a lot of the same family things as me. all the deaths a couple years ago, he was there beside me being a pallbearer....he knows what i've been through. he's one person that i can tell anything to. i miss him because he's at uconn. and it would just be awesome if we could chill like that everyday. muh brotha! i love u!

Until I Find You ~ Stacie Orrico

I find it so unforgetable when a man knows how to treat a lady Knows 'em from right , He's never shady I find it so undeniable when a man's so so reliable (yeah yeah) The way he outta be The way he should be Every night when I close my eyes I lift my voice to the sky I pray for this man, My man I will be hoping for you I will be searching for you I will be watching for you Until I find you, Find you I will be patient for you My eyes they won't ignore you I know my heart will know you When I find you, Find you What, What I find it so, so respectable when a man can take control He's sentimental, And he's so gentle I find it so, so wonderful when a man's so full of love Not shallow , Someone I'm proud of Every night when I close my eyes I lift my voice to the sky I pray for this man , My man I will be hoping for you I will be searching for you I will be watching for you Until I find you, Find you I will be patient for you My eyes they won't ignore you I know my heart will know you When I find you, Find you And everytime I feel like settling I know God's got you in mind for me All I have to do is wait patiently When I find you, find you I pray for this man, My man What Yeah Yeah They way he outta be, the way should be I pray for this man, My man Yeah, I like that When I find you, find you I will be hoping for you I will be searching for you I will be watching for you Until I find you, Find you I will be patient for you My eyes they won't ignore you I know my heart will know you When I find you, Find you Until I find you, Find you When I find you, Find you

~ another wishing, missing, waiting, watching, for my man song. it's true. my heart is aching because i got so much love but i don't have anyone to give it to. i don't want to be alone forever. i'm falling apart these days. mentally and physically. i'm just worn out. i sliced my thumb with an exacto at work yesterday. my middle finger on my left and is still black and blue cuz i slammed it into a car door. yesterday i slept on my neck funny and it ached the entire day. plus my good friend came for a visit to shit on me. girls get me ? i had to sleep the sicky icky off. i'm just tired, and my back constantly aches. i find my eyes closing sporadically. it's insane. i need a vacation, or better, a lonnng slumber. shit that's it, i'm sleeping good tonight. excuse me while i go put something into my empty stomach so that it will stop growling....in the mean time, i'm still waiting, forever, until i find you. i won't stop looking.

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