2003-05-08 - 11:36 a.m.

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR BLOG NAME? look deeper - it's a simple message to look deeper into people. not just to see their outside. to see what's behind them. who they really are.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAKEOVER? yeah i got one at the clinique counter at the mall once. the woman doing it found out that i sang in a group and she decided to go wild on my eye shadow. before i left the store i wiped half of it off.

HAVE YOU EVER WITNESSED DEATH? not directly. i've seen someone in the process of dying. i've seen many dead. (wakes and my great grandma), but i've never witnessed the actually passing.

WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE? i was in italy for 18 days during my junior year of high school

ONE THING YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY. That i finished my 20pg paper and handed it in. my parents. my cats :)

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. on a beach somewhere tropical, with the one i love, barefoot as i, looking into each other's eyes and saying "i do" as the starts to set.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE DOING WHEN YOU ARE 60? being a cool old mom. still puffing on the ganja prolly. listening to my music and giving advice to my ever-growing family, still in love with my hubby.

WHAT IS YOUR FIRST MEMORY? playing with the carebears and marc in my crib when i was little.

MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN? my sophmore year, i cried when we split.

HOW MUCH MONEY DOES IT TAKE TO KEEP YOU FOR A YEAR? alot. my ma says i'm high-maitenance. that and i smoke about a pack a day...

DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES? yeah, i like em tall skinny and usually italian, with dark features and a killer smile :)

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? why they flip from girl to girl and make eyes with their old flings ?

WHAT PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY DO YOU WANT MOST RIGHT NOW? a car! i'm looking into a indigo blue 2001 cabrio.

NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU'D MOST WANT TO BE. Shelby, from Higher Ground. She got to kiss Hayden.

GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME. Rose Trumbull

WHAT'S YOUR WORST FLAW? i smoke a lot

WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER? work, party, concerts, camping, sleep..

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW? "until i find you" - stacie orrico

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES IN THESE CATEGORIES: HUMOR, ROMANCE, DRAMA, ACTION, HORROR?

Humor: Half Baked

Romance: Dogfight

Drama: Life As A House

Action: Girl Fight

Horror: Scream, the original one.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY SONG? "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE. beach side, with a lot of levels, and a lot of windows

YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR: my sweats and a tank

WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG? i have two:

bookbag - my water bottle, a herman hesse novel, my math binder, my class folders, my crossword book, a pen and a couple pencils, etc.

purse - my wallet, address book, granola bars, my sunglasses, my make-up, my keys, my ww books, my cigarettes, 2 lighters, a lot of marb miles, my bowl and it's pouch, my tin with a couple stems, my new jar from cassandra with an 1/8 of kb, an old pack of rolling papers.

HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW? 10$ and some change

WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF IN YOUR LIFE? my strive to work, to go to school currently, my future successes, my attitude toward life, my friends, my family, my cats

HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM? i would'nt know because instead of going, ryan, mike, mike, rosie, and i decided to get drunk and be stupid.

TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS. my 18th birthday was horrible. bill died that day.

WHAT DO YOU MOST ENJOY ABOUT LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLE? the differences, the unusual but the reality.

WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?

1. car

2. a beach house

3. surgery

4. weed

5. donate to the PARC in memory of my aunt lolly

WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL? smoke some bud, then a cig, then i trudge up to my room, put the fan on, get comfortable, and read til i pass out.

WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU? Nuker. i got it from Flan, and a bunch of people still call me it. that or Nufer, Nufe, etc.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES? my pumas, my steve madden black boots, my llbean gortex boots-no water in my shoes!

WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF? an elf, they're beautiful people, so white and pure, and they speak a beautiful, unique language

WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG. "i'm just a fool waiting on the wrong block" - led zep, "fool in the rain"

#41 ~ Dave Matthews Band

Come and see I swear by now I'm playing time I against my troubles I'm coming slow but speeding Do you wish a dance and while I'm in the front the play on time is won but the difficulty is coming here I will go in this way And find my own way out I wont tell you to stay But I'm coming to much more Me All at once the ghosts come back Reeling in you now What if they came down crushing Remember when I used to play for all of the loneliness that nobody notice now I'm begging slow I'm coming here Only waiting I wanted to stay I wanted to play I wanted to love you I'm only this far And only tomorrow leads my way I'm coming waltzing back and moving into your head Please, I wouldn't pass this by I would take any more than What sort of man goes by I will bring water Why wont you ever be glad It melts into wonder I came in praying for you why wont you run in the rain and play let the tears splash all over you

~ the rain puts a damper on the mood of the day. i have completed my 20 page paper and i handed it in this morning. sad things have happened since the last time i wrote. phil's grandfather died in a traumatic crash. ryan is still lost. the rain sets the scene. my back hurts. the hardest of this struggle has already passed. all thats left are tests. which means study. ughhh. oh well. i'll have a summer to not do any college work. and i'll have a job with hours to fill. which means money. i'm tired. sore. tired. hungry. lost. alone. anxious. impatient. done.

past present future