2003-05-27 - 2:03 p.m.

Playground Love ~ Air

I'm a high school lover, and you're my favorite flavor. Love is all, all my soul. You're my playground love. Yet my hands are shaking. I feel my body leaning.Time's no matter, I'm on fire On the playground love.You're the piece of gold, That flushes all my soul. Extra time, on the ground. You're my playground love. Anytime, anywhere, You're my playground love.

~ it's been four years since i last saw him. but out of the woodwork he comes crawling like a termite back into my life, eating away at my mind. he slept over on saturday. it was just like, my complete high school fantasy. the guy i would've practically killed for who went away i thought forever, but if thats forever, then forever isn't long...because he's back. and with him came some of my hidden feelings. the idea of us is causing my curiousity to make me look like a fool. i will not let a boy control my life. but it's fucking hard not to right now...

The Air That I Breathe ~ Hollies

If I could make a wish I think I'd pass Can't think of anything I need No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound Nothing to eat, no books to read Making love with you Has left me peaceful,and warm inside What more could I ask There's nothing left to be desired Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe And to love you All I need is the air that I breatheYes to love you All I need is the air that I breathe Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe And to love you All I need is the air that I breatheYes to love you All I need is the air that I breathe Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe And to love you All I need is the air that I breathe Yes to love you All I need is the air that I breathe And to love you All I need is the air that I breathe Yes to love you

~ yesterday was memorial day. and it poured almost all day. the weather totally reflected my mood. it was just a somber day. a somber mood. til i got high. then everything was chill i guess. i wrote a statement on the back of a scrap of paper with someone's phone number on it. it reads "today i realized that without pot i cannot be happy at this point in my life. and that fucking scares me. i know what i need. the cure all of cures. love. i need a romance. i need a nice boyfriend to occupy my time. love is a natural high.

Come Sail Away ~ Styx

I'm sailing away,Set an open course for the virgin sea,'Cause I've got to be free,Free to face the life that's ahead of me,On board I'm the captain, So climb aboard,We'll search for tomorrow on every shore,And I'll try, Oh Lord I'll try, to carry on I look to the sea,Reflections in the waves spark my memory,Some happy, some sad,I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had,We lived happily forever, so the story goes,But somehow we missed out, on that pot of gold And we'll try best that we can to carry on A gathering of angels appeared above my head, They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said, They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me baby, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise, We climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies Singing come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me...

~ so i watched the virgin suicides again yesterday. everytime i watch that movie it makes me think. "everyone has a theory as to why..." so true. i've got many theories. i just see how dumb an answer suicide is. actually it's not an answer at all. hayden's in the movie. he has a teensy part. but it seems as though part of one of his lines is an important thematic element to the entirety of the story. in the car when lux is smoking a cigarette, she blows a circle out and just before the circle hits the roof of the car, hayden reaches up and pokes his finger through the circle saying "don't let it die a virgin...." all the people in the car get pissy. but its such a minor statement, but it almost makes the movie what it is. well its an example of that. sofia coppola equals genius.

You're a God ~ Vertical Horizon

I've gotta be honest I think you know We're covered in lies and that's okay And there's somewhere beyond this, I know But I hope I can find the words to say Never again, no... No, never again... 'Cause you're a god And I am not And I just thought That you would know You're a god And I am not And I just thought I'd let you go But I've been unable To put you down I'm still learning things I ought to know by now It's under the table, so I need something more to show, somehow So, never again, no... No, never again... 'Cause you're a god And I am not And I just thought That you would know You're a god And I am not And I just thought I'd let you go I've got to be honest I think you know We're covered in lies and that's okay There's somewhere beyond this, I know But I hope I can find the words to say Never again, no... No, never again... 'Cause you're a god And I am not And I just thought That you would know You're a god And I am not And I just thought I'd let you go You're a god (Oh, and I am not) I just thought that you would know... (Oh, I thought that you would know) You're a god (Oh, and I am not) I just thought I'd let you go

~ i saw bruce almighty yesterday. it was one of those thought-provoking movies. i felt like i was analyzing my life on the drive home. i like when things make me think. i'm still partial to the idea of god. i dont know what to believe. i have a really hard time believing in things that aren't real. that i know of anyway. well i'm losing my focus due to the feind for a cigarette right now. i'm gonna go give in...

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