2003-09-16 - 10:32 a.m.

Beautiful Disaster ~ Kelly Clarkson

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right

Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful,
Or just a beautiful disaster?

His magical myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful,
Or just a beautiful disaster?

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waitin' so long
So long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still leaves more than I can take
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful,
Or just a beautiful disaster?

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

~ His magical myth/As strong as what I believe/A tragedy with/More damage than a soul should see/And do I try to change him?/So hard not to blame him…could this be more right? The whole song just fits the situation so perfectly. If I could sing this to your face, I wish that you would listen carefully, and then embrace me. We have so much to work with, to stem off of, together. If you would just give it a chance then we could try. You have to take big risks to gain big rewards. Do you hear me? Or are you asleep in there? I know you had a rough day yesterday, with little sleep and the drama so I backed off a bit. I don’t want to crowd you. I don’t want to be a burden. You won’t be a burden to me. If you would just explain what you want, need, etc, then I will be able to help you. Yesterday you made the assumption that none of us could help you, but you don’t know unless you ask. I could help you so much. I’ll be good for you, but I don’t know what you’re after, you’re so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster, and if I could hold on, through the tears and the laughter, would it be beautiful, or just a beautiful distaster?

Who's Got The Herb? ~ 311
Who's Got the Herb
2 for 1, 5 for 4, half ounces
Quarter pounds, LB's and kilos
What are we looking for
Sinsemilla
What are we hoping for
What are we hoping for
Sinsemilla
Who's got the herb is what the young boys ask me
Who's got the herb and then elders tell me
Who's got the herb is what the young girls ask me
Whos' got the herb not thee dread-locks
Skunk, bud, indica
Sativa, my reefer, la arriba
Skunk, bud, indica
Sativa, my reefer, la arriba
When we roll a big one
it feels so right
When we smoke it in our bong
it feels so nice
Whos' got the herb is what the young boys ask me
Who's got the herb and then the elders tell me
Who's got the herb is what the young girls ask me
Who's get the herb not thee dread-locks
Who's got the herb
Who's got the herb
Who's got the herb
Who's got the herb What I'm talkin' 'bout
Cramacaca cayaca die shocka fryaca
From a coppa yes I'm tellin' you
Cramacaca cayaca die shocka fryaca
From a coppa
What are we looking for
Sinsemilla
What are we hoping for
Sinsemilla
Here we go!
Skunk, bud, indica
Sativa, my reefer, my reefer
Who's got it Who's got the herb
Who's got it Who's got the herb
311 whoa Who's got the herb
311's got the herb and you can't avoid that
and ya do want your hands with a fat blunt sack
chill with indica and guiness, steer clear of white powder
kick it you sing it in a space, go out to play it louder
Plague my brain with no cocaine
I don't wanna, I don't wanna go insane
Roll up the bones if you can affix a word to smoke it
except for you're doomed in the morning if you bake the hills
Oh and I get up to the sun and then I smoke out
It's beginning to smell like Mota and I'm down with no doubt, sing
Plague my brain with no cocaine
I don't wanna, I don't wanna go insane
If you want to harm the
world then you can stop the
herb and you can use the
serve and use the warrant.

~I had so much fun on Saturday. UCONN was exactly what we all needed. I’m so glad that we went. Stacey, Carl, Tim, Justin, and I drove up and met up with Marc. Then we went to meet Rivera and Becky, and a couple other girls at Hilltop, where we chilled for a bit before attempting to go to Celleron. Everyone but Justin and I started to walk to X-Lot. Justin and I were gonna drive down and meet them. But the rear tire on the passenger side of the car was flat. I thought we were fucked but Justin jumped into control and grabbed the spare. He took the flat tire off and put the donut on. I was so thankful that he was there because if not I would’ve been lost. So twenty minutes later we finally pulled out of Hilltop only to find Tim and Becky right there, walking up to try and find us. So they jumped in and we were gonna go to this other party but it was shit and they weren’t letting any more guys in, only girls so we were like fuck that. Then we met up with a couple of Rivera’s friends and took my car and one of his friends cars and we drove to Celleron where we parked and then proceeded to party. There were hundreds of heads there, kegs were flowing in a bunch of apartments. The boys went up to the closest one and bought beer. They told me and Stace to wait for them but we were talking to Gary and Matt and they wanted to smoke so we bounced and went to Matt’s car. Matt looks like Steve-O. Once we were done we went back to where we started and found the guys. They were pissed that we took off haha. So there were fights and freestyle battles. I told Justin we would puff ASAP when he had finished fixing the tire and he got pissy that I smoked without him so we went back to Matt’s car and chilled there for a while. He was feeling a buzz because he started talking. He’ll go on and on when he’s drunk. So we talked about everything going on between us. And we made everything right. He looked out for me the whole night. Once we were done with that everyone needed a refill on their cups so I went up with them and I got a bottle of 99 apples off the guy running the keg for 5 bucks. We were just chillin amidst so many heads and it was great cause we weren’t home for once and now all of them want to go back this weekend. So anyways it started pouring around 2am and we hopped into the car and Justin drove us home. We got back around 3, 3:30ish and smoked an L before everyone but me, Justin and Carl passed out. Then the three of us went up to Carl’s room and puffed a good-night bowl. I apparently passed out on Carl’s couch but I don’t really remember. Justin said he woke me up and then we went into his room and I was asleep within seconds. Just said that I was snoring and he couldn’t sleep but he was laughing cause it was funny and he didn’t want to wake me up. When he told me that the next day I felt a little embarrassed but not much because I’d rather have him laughing at the way I sleep than being pissed at me or something. All in all it was a great fucking weekend.

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