2003-09-30 - 2:19 p.m.

Recent Horoscopes that moved me:

Tuesday, September 30: The month ends better than you hoped. Sales are good, rules are inclusive and everyone is on speaking terms. If you did this once, you should be able to do it again -- just remember how.

Monday, September 29: Your attitude toward justice and equality is more lax than it should be. A colleague deserves some time to settle into a new role. Certain dreams still aren't ready to see the light of day.

Sunday, September 28: You're not yourself these days, but that's okay. Change will happen if you can look at the familiar from a new angle. Read an invitation twice just to make sure that it's really intended for you.

Friday, September 26: The master storyteller draws others into his tale. Sagittarius has seen magic happen and wants to share that experience with the world. A difficult decision is solved when you hear it from a different voice.

Back and To The Left ~ Texas Is The Reason

This town was built on miles of hope
And I dare you to give one reason to stay
And maybe I won't go away.
So far you only dared me once
And I think we know that's not even close enough.
Not enough for me to stay.
It costs so much I know.
But I guess I need to know what it would have felt like to be right.
But I'm getting tired all over again so hurry up
And get here because I'm still waiting...
Just like I've always been.
I'm getting tired of standing around,
Just sitting here and waiting to be found.
Same old shit just a different day.
I'll wait around for one more day
But I know that's what I will always say.
Will this ever be O. K. ?
I will always worry about you.
I will always stick up for you.

~ I don’t know how I lasted the past few years without you around. You give me something to look forward to each day. My mom wants me to go to Uconn next fall. I want to go to. I want you to go with me. Even if you don’t go to school I want you to be there with me. To leave you behind in Plainville would be too hard. I don’t think I could go without you. How would you get up there to see me? How will I maintain when I’ll be wondering what you’re doing and who you’re with the whole time. I’m actually happy. You make me this way. I haven’t been happy in a long time. But when I’m with you all of my troubles float out the door and you occupy my mind just as much as you do my time. Did you know that I can be the one to take her off of your mind for good? Because I can…if you let me.

Deep Inside of You ~ Third Eye Blind

When we met, light was shed
Thoughts free flow
You said you've got...something
Deep inside of you
A wind chime voice sounds
Sway of your hips 'round rings true
It goes deep inside of you
These secret garden beams
Change my life so it seems
A Fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride
Thoughts are warm
And they go deep inside of you

Oh yeah
Well I never felt alone
Alright
Oh oh uh
Oh oh uh
'Till I met you

Friends say I've changed
I don't listen
'Cause I live to be
Deep inside of you
Slide up her dress
Shouts in darkness
I'm so alive
I'm deep inside of you
You said boy made girl feel good

But still...
Deep inside
Still
I never felt alone
'Till I met you
I'm alright on my own
And then I met you
And I'd know what to do
If I just knew
What's comin'
I would change myself if I could
I walk with my people if I could find them
And I'd say that I'm sorry to you
I'm sorry to you
And I don't wanna call you
But then I wanna call you
'Cause I don't wanna crush you
But I feel like crushing you
And it's true
I took for granted
You were with me
I breathe by your looks
And you look right through me
(We were broken)
(Do you know it)
(We were broken)
(Do you know it)
(We were broken)
(Do you know it)
(We were broken)
(Do you know...)

Lies, all lies.
That's right.
All.

Something's gone
You're withdrawn
I'm not strong
Like before
I was deep inside of you
I can go nowhere
I burn candles and stare
At a ghost
Deep inside of you
And some great need in me
Starts...to bleed
I've lost myself
There's nothin' left
It's all gone
Deep inside of you

Deep inside of you
Mmmm...
Deep inside of you

~This weekend was…the best, however at the same time tempting in a way, because now I want it more than I did when I didn’t have it at all. I keep seeing your face all twisted up in pleasure, and then I smell your cologne wherever I turn and I picture you at home waiting. You’re always waiting, we’re always waiting, I’m always waiting. I think life just consists of waiting. Waiting for the herb, waiting for the calls for the herb, waiting for the weekend to come, waiting for the week to leave, waiting for everyone to disappear and leave us alone, waiting for school to get out so that I can come see you, waiting to get paid, waiting to get laid, waiting to feel good. We need to take some time to just revel in what is. Fuck waiting. Like Friday night when you said you needed to go for a walk and then you walked ten feet before turning around and running back to grab my hand and lay beside me watching the stars on the hood of the car, that was reveling in the moment. We need to do that more often. So much is spoken between us without words. The silence is so loud sometimes. I wish you were here right now so that I could have a kiss from those pouty lips.

past present future