2003-10-28 - 10:34 a.m.

Tuesday, October 28: Even if you're not famous, this is your chance to act like a celebrity. Your words are highly quotable and your actions are spectacular. If you have a favorite project or charity, this is the time to advertise it.
Monday, October 27: Clear vision explodes from a confusing jumble. A misplaced item turns up just about where you expected it to be. Good news is worth sharing. Come out of your shell to spread the word.
Sunday, October 26: Politely refuse a social engagement that would drain your energy. You may not have a specific plan, but you know what doesn't work. Drift and dream if you're lucky enough to be alone.
Saturday, October 25:Be ready for anything. Like water, the group seeks its own level, surprising many individual members that would never think to go there on their own. Your astrological neighbors have a treat in store for you.
Friday, October 24: If there's one thing you have, it's plenty of choice. The stars show you the folly of backing yourself into a corner. Respond to the real situation instead of reacting to some self-generated scenario.

Todays Extended: You can't plan out every minute of the day, so why try? There are bound to be little surprises here and there along the way and rolling with the waves is the best way to deal with them. Your schedule is full, but that doesn't mean that you can't make adjustments as needed.

God of Wine ~ Third Eye Blind
Every thought that I repent,
There's another chip you haven't spent.
And you're cashing them all in.
Where do we begin, to get clean again.
Can we get clean again.

I walk home alone with you, in the mood you're born into.
Sometimes you let me in, and I take it on the chin.
I can't get clean again. I wannna know, can we get clean again,
The God of Wine comes crashing through the headlights of a car that
Took you farther than you thought you'd ever want to go.
We can't get back again.
You can't get back again.
She takes a drink and then she waits,
The alcohol it permeates.
And soon the cells give way, and cancels out the day.

I can't keep it all together.
(Star, stuck underneath the moon.)
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I can't keep it all together.
(Star, stuck underneath the moon.)
And the siren's song that is your madness,
Holds a truth I can't erase, All alone on your face.

Every glamorous sunrise, throws the planets out of line.
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac.
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room. You let me down, I said it.
Now I'm going down, and you're not even around.
And I said a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I can't keep it all together.
(Star, stuck underneath the moon.)
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I know
I can't keep it all together,
(Star, stuck underneath the moon.)
And there's a memory of a window, looking through I see you.
Searching for something I could never give you.
There's someone who understands you more than I do.
A sadness I can't erase, all alone on your face.

~ I need to learn how to budget my money. I get paid on Friday and I am broke until then. I have no other source of income now besides myself. And in order for me to support my habit and get by I spend every cent that I make. I need to save but I have things to buy at the same time. So how does that work? I don’t make enough to cut my check in half and save half of it because I only get paid every other week and I always end up blowing my money the day I cash my fucking check. It seems like everything is falling into place to teach me the life-learning must-be-known lesson in funding. To prepare me for the future, I must learn how to deal with money now and not a second later. I am learning okay, but I don’t think she should take away the car from me to learn. I need to see my friends. They are my family. It sucks to be sitting at home knowing that across town someone is there and someone is down. I wish that my lawsuit would hurry up and settle so that I can get some of this money stress off my back and start focusing on other aspects of my life that could use improvement. I’m a lost cause sometimes. “I can’t keep it all together…(star, stuck underneath the moon)…” ~ Third Eye Blind


Alkaline Trio - Take Lots With Alcohol

Hello what the hell am I doin' here
That's a really nice suit
This is a really comfortable chair
See I don't know if you can help me or not
Cause I don't feel sick
But the pains in my head have almost put me
Underground
I don't really care if I'm healthy or not
Just clean my head up doc
I'll give you anything you want
See I don't know why I don't fall in love
Well maybe I know why and maybe you could make it stop
Then we'll cut it up and bury it and leave it
Underground
And I'll take to wishing and fall under
Sleeping safe and sound
Just give me medicine prescribe me anything
Just knock me out and walk me through the door
I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore
Hello what the hell are you doing here
You made a really strange face
This is a really uncomfortable air
I see I'm boring you, maybe I bore myself too
That's why I need help, I'm cleaning blood off dusty shelves
I been cut up in this room so many times it might take days
And those stress cracks in the wood
How nicely the soak up the stains
Been telling myself these jokes for so long well so long
I'm a has been who is heckled on the stage

~ i need help. i've come to the conclusion that i can't do it all on my own. it's so hard. why did i get dealt this hand. sometimes the pain is so much that i can barely breath and my eyes tear up and overflow and my brain spins with thoughts of helplessness. "i swear i should be locked up for all the stupid shit that i did" - kanye west i cannot erase time, i cannot go back in time and change my ways. i can only feel guilt and regret and dumb and a failure in your eyes. i'm sorry. i hurt the people who i need the most. i wish i could just tell them that too. and i will. but the words will clutter in my brain and form discumbobulated sentences to the point where i cannot truly express myself. i leave out things i mean to say. and when it's over i just analyze it until i have investigated every single string of maybe. i'm broke. i have a problem handling money. i need to win this lawsuit to be able to survive the lifestyle i've managed to put myself in. but i know that it all will come at a price. a price that i will never be able to afford. i need to learn to sacrifice the unnecessary. i need to clean up. i need to change. i need to prove it to them. i dug myself into this hole and now i need to climb myself out. if i can.

past present future