2003-11-24 - 3:39 a.m.

Friday, November 21: You disagree with somebody's opinion, but you love the mind from which it springs. True diplomats are above hypocrisy as opposed to mere politicians. Your paper trail shows the integrity of your methods.
Saturday, November 22:Unless you want to pay closer attention, don't ask people to repeat themselves. Your mind is in a place where other voices are just distractions. Politely excuse yourself and take a walk alone.
Sunday, November 23:You miss nothing by starting later in the day. The stars arrive on your side with an open invitation and a thousand reasons to smile. This is better than anything you could have imagined in your recent gloomy mood.

Keep On Pushin' ~ Calvin Richardson
Girls I've lied
Please forgive me,
It's been a few months now since I've seen you
I don't wanna go on without you babe
Put it in the past
I wanna make this love last (listen)

Don't keep on pushin' me, if you do,
I might just fall over the edge baby
oh yeah (listen)

Girl I'm trying
I don't wanna waste your time
No long do I have a one track mind
I know I broke your trust baby
But I love you too much baby (listen)

Don't keep on pushin me, if you do,
I might fall over the edge baby

Sometimes your angers hard for me to bare,
I just want you baby, take my hands
run my fingers thur your hair (listen)

Don't keep on pushin' me, if you do,
I might just fall over the edge baby
oh yeah (baby please) (listen)

Hush baby
Don't say a word
Had to be first
I told you before
I can't take no more
Don't push me, push me no more, cause I'm warning you
I'm fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen fallen, fallen,
fallen out of love, fallen out of love baby.

I wanna tell you one more time (listen),
Sometimes your angers hard for me to bare
I just want you baby
take my hands, run my fingers thru your hair (listen)

Don't keep on pushin' me, if you do,
I might just fall over the edge baby
said I just might do it.
Fallin, Fallin...........

~ i don't know why i am so attached. i can't stand him yet i want him so much. i hate him but i love him. i can't stand not knowing where he is yet i don't want to know. i don't want to know what's going on because it will just break my heart some more but i need to know because i cannot live being strung along like a puppet performing at your every beck and call. i will not allow myself to sink to that level. but when you keep coming back to me and then going back away from me i don't know how to react. i don't know what to think. i cannot stand it. tell me please? just talk to me. i'd rather know than not. i'm already hurt. just fucking tell me...

So Emotional ~ Carl Thomas and Faith Evans
I always dream that everything
Would be okay with me and you
I was wrong
Than i look into your eyes
I didn't see all the things i use to see
What's going on

You gave me a reason to believe
That we were always meant to be
But now i see, you were wrong
You can't keep running back to me
With all those baby baby please
There's no more, no more

Never imagine you would be a faded picture
I'm emotional, I'm emotional
Guess I'll be leaving, you're decieving, it's official
I'm emotional, so emotional

I can't forget that night
I saw you in the corner wrapped up tight
You were wrong
Still dancing on the floor
While i was watching from the door
So hurt
There you were

You gave me a reason to believe
That we were always meant to be
But now i see, you were wrong
You can't keep running back to me
With all those baby baby please
There's no more, no more

Never imagine you would be a faded picture
I'm emotional, I'm emotional
Guess I'll be leaving, you're decieving, it's official
I'm emotional

You had your chance (had your chance)
But you threw it all away
Thought you had my love always (oh baby)
I don't understand (don't understand)
Why you think that we could stay
A total unhappiness

Never imagine you would be a faded picture
I'm emotional, I'm emotional
Guess I'll be leaving, you're decieving, it's officials
I'm emotional, so emotional...

~you called me while i was at work.
"So you want me to stop by after I get out then?"(me)
"Yeah, definitely," (you).
12:35 AM :
i am here, but you are not.
please don't tell me to come by if you're not gonna keep to your word and be here. i'm getting sick of this shit. say one thing and do another. i don't understand. every day you seem to distance yourself a little more. we used to laugh and smile, not it seems like i'm just another chore. i don't like head games and drama, both of which you create. i can't stop thinking about you and i don't like where things are going at this rate. these feelings of love are slowly growing into hate. i don't like being toyed with, so until you know what you want for sure, leave me out of your game. all this energy and effort i put in seems to dissapate so thin. it looks to me like even if i stop or start playing i'll never ever win. just save your bullshit.

past present future